Father’s Day continues with or without him

Brian Wigger

Father’s Day is soon approaching and for more than 100 million Americans whose fathers have already died (mine included), it will be a day of remembering and missing Dad.  What can we fearless Americans do to make the holiday meaningful?

I am sure for some the day might be a day of liberation.  Not having to worry about forgetting to buy a card, a tie, a gift, or apologizing for not buying a card, a tie, a gift.  Not having to make small talk on the phone often can bring a sense of liberation.  Of course, there are too those children who had a difficult relationship with their father and this can be a liberating day.

But for the most part Father’s Day without a father eventually brings sadness.  To deal with such sadness there are many options people can and do cope with this day.

As for my oldest sister, Mary she recalls how our dad loved “sherbet ice cream.” On Father’s Day she has two scoops of “sherbet ice cream” in a bowl.  My dad was a meat cutter by trade and now my brother is a meat cutter and he is in his 28th year out of 30 years with same company carrying on the same trade.  My father loved sauerkraut and so I will honor his memory by sometime during the week of Father’s Day will eat sauerkraut (I do not like sauerkraut).

There are many other ways that can help us connect the meaning of our fathers in a healthy way and allows us to “commune” with our dads once again. 

Sometimes it is thought to be easiest to ignore the day, the pain and grief surrounding the day, and ignore the fact that Dad is not around anymore.  In most cases, honoring the loss and sadness by connecting to whatever memory you had with your father.

I am reminded of the movie, Dead Poet Society and how Robin Williams himself assumed the father role as a teacher to a class of young boys in a private school.  He challenged them to reach beyond the routine expectations of the system and explore their own unique gifts and dreams.

His motto “Seize the day!” became their inspiration.  May I suggest that you think how you can create a way to remember and honor your father this Father’s Day.  Those of you whose father’s are still alive, you are encouraged to help make Father’s Day as memorable as you can. Perhaps another way is to ask -  How can you seize the day?

The staff at Don Catchen and Son Funeral Home joins me in wishing you a peaceful Father’s Day June 17th.  We stand by our commitment to be dedicated in helping in a time of need.  If you or a loved one need support and help dealing with the pain of the loss of a father or someone who may have taken on the role of a father or indeed may need to deal with any loss of a loved one, please do not hesitate in contacting Brian Wigger, M.A. M.Div, Counselor and After Care Specialist at 859.342.4711.  Blessings to you and your family!